A few weeks ago, we received an e-mail from one of our readers going through the process of coming out. We all realize this can be the most difficult time in someone’s life, it can be all smooth sailing, or somewhere in between. With National Coming Out Day only a few weeks away, we decided to get a bit of a head start and share our stories as life changing or as uneventful as they may be.

 

Tyler: Although it felt the most emotional and earth-shattering event of my life (oh, high school…), my coming out experience was relatively easy and painless compared to what many of my friends and what many of you have gone through. The first person I came out to was actually not even someone I was that close to at the time (he would later become my best friend for the remainder of high school). It almost felt safer to come out as gay to someone where the stakes for rejection were lower. I waited to come out to my parents for several months, until I had my first boyfriend. I’m not sure why I waited to come out after I started dating; maybe it was to use him as an example: “You see? I really am gay. I tried it!” The first thing my mother, who I should point out works in the medical field and frequently relates everything to health, said was “Are you having sex?!” (I wasn’t). My mother’s main concern was me facing stigmas and prejudice. I told my father later that evening, to which he replied in his typical fashion, “Alright. I’m going to the grocery store, do you need anything?”

I don’t remember the play-by-play of telling most people about myself, but I distinctly remember the fear of disappointing others (I was sixteen, afterall, I still gave a shit what other people thought). While coming out for anyone is scary (especially if you are living in an openly homophobic area of the world like I was at the time; cheers to you, North Carolina), having a strong support system of friends and/or family (or even strangers – there are so many wonderful places to find support at a member of the LGBT community) is absolutely essential.

 

Stevie: Coming out was a long process for me. I always kind of knew I was “different” than the other boys but I didn’t care enough to actively figure out why until I was older. I think my first experience with “coming out” was in middle school when I would “come out” as a hardcore Spice Girls fan. But I masked it by keeping only the sexier pictures of the girls and telling everyone how hot I thought they were.

It was easy to fool a bunch of conservative Catholics at my middle school and all boys high school, but when I got to my first year of college at an art school in manhattan I guess my roll as a straight man wasn’t exactly academy award winning. I was called out on being gay constantly. (Mainly only by other gays, my girl friends and straight guy friends could care less.) It got to the point where a few people planned on throwing me a “surprise coming out party.” Luckily other friends told me prior and my impending humiliation was avoided. To this day I HATE the idea of “outting” someone. As a person who’s gone through that, I don’t think it’s fair or right to do to anyone who isn’t ready.

My sophomore year was my “coming out” year. I “fell out” to my sister and a few other friends over the summer. Yes, I fell out by accident. Finally my last relationship with a girl ended in her saying, “If you ever need someone to go to a gay bar with, call me.” She said it with genuine caring and in a completely non-judgmental way, but that’s when I started to make it “official” and began telling more of my friends. Each “coming out” was different, and many of them involved booze. I told my roommate at the time Danny, after a bottle of wine while we painted our rooms on move in day. I told Jackie at a St. Patricks day party and got a reaction of jumping up and down with happiness. Erin was told via text from across the table at our favorite Asian Pub. I told Joe after a doing a tequila shot bar crawl and had him take my hand and skip down the street while telling me how he loves me like a brother no matter what. Etc. My “coming out” had more of a, “So what? Join the club,” response than I had anticipated. And for once I felt like myself.

My parents came later. I didn’t tell my parents until after I had graduated. For some reason I always felt it was best to wait until I had graduated and had a support system behind me. I knew deep down inside my mother would never disown me, but I never felt positive enough. I will never forget the pit in my stomach wanting to vomit and die feeling that I had while trying to spit out the words to Mom. When I finally did, she cried. She cried because she had known since I was little. She cried because she was worried about me having a “hard life” because of it. But, she didn’t cry because she wanted to change me at all. She went home and told my father. He had no idea, but he didn’t care at all. “As long as it doesn’t effect you finding a job,” was what he told me. (Meanwhile, it’s actually been quite the opposite considering my last two jobs were gay-run companies or organizations.) I guess since then I’ve been “completely out” to the entire world. They were the last two people I felt that I had to tell. Now it just is what it is.

My best advice to anyone coming out: Don’t rush it. Be true to yourself. Do it when you’re ready, not when anyone else tells you to.

 

Tommy: I hate to disappoint, but my coming out was blissfully uneventful. (Almost) no tirades or tantrums, no excommunication, no exclusion from family functions, no refusal to discuss or face the reality of my sexuality. It was a surprise to few, and it was a choice I was happy to make when it felt right.

IF anything, it made me appreciative of my brothers, whose reaction was miles ahead of my expectations. Instead of hearing me, saying, “Whatever,” and ignoring the topic, my two older straight brothers went out of their way to call me and tell me how proud they were of my honestly. The same brothers who made fun of me and called me names and made me scared to ever tell them my “terrible truth” knew exactly what to say when they finally had their lifelong suspicions confirmed. Sometimes people really do surprise you.
I am eternally grateful to have come out of the experience unscathed, and to be able to keep all the pieces of my life. I know that reality does not exist for everyone, and I encourage every individual to be smart and be brave in making the “who-what-when-where-why-and-how” decision for himself.

 

 

Dan: When it came to coming out to my parents, I was incredibly nervous considering the fact that I had two other siblings who weren’t out either. When I was younger I had been questioning the “coming out” due to the fact that to have three LGBT children would seem…strange to some.

While we each knew about each other’s sexuality for the longest time, we didn’t let our parents know. However, by last year (I was 22, my sister was 20, and my brother was 18) we weren’t exactly the best at keeping our sexuality a secret. For example, one thing that got me to SERIOUSLY consider coming out, was when my aunt had caught me holding hands with another guy. So there isn’t really escaping the close-knit family bond that we had.

From the moment my aunt saw me, I knew I had to come out because it was obviously out in the open. Finally in the mood to explain myself to my parents, I decided to come home for the weekend and have dinner with my siblings and my parents.

Upon arriving my sister had news that she had come out in the recent week, during her vacation with my mother in California. I had congratulated her, but I was a little nervous, because I didn’t want to be the second, or the third one to have to come out. Regardless, I came home, had several glasses of wine, and waited for dinner to be ready.

However, my mom had entered my room to say hello before we eat. But it was a totally different conversation. “So, your sister is a lesbian, your brother is gay…are you?” I said yes. Before this I had been a sexually ambiguous, sexless, grumpy collegiate. My love life, from what I made them believe, was a nonexistent one. She didn’t flinch, but asked why we haven’t told her earlier. While this isn’t your normal “standing up for my own beliefs” story, considering that my mom came out for me, I am incredibly grateful to have been born into the family that I have.

 

Jon: I wouldn’t really consider this a coming out story per se, considering I was never really “outed.” I hid it, sure, but it was something everyone already assumed; having plenty of girl-friends and living up to their stereotypes, it wasn’t difficult to figure out. Unlike many who have experienced an incredible amount of adamance from their family, my first steps out of the closet were fairly easy.

  Growing up, I feel like every member of the LGBT community knows there’s something a bit off about their internal longings. The way Barbie’s summer tan stayed all year long, her remarkable accessorizing skills (I did it better) or G.I. Joe’s throbbing toy bulge, you knew what you were feeling but didn’t know what it meant. My childhood was fairly easy, as I was allowed to play dress-up, my parents just wanted their son to be happy. Aren’t all parents supposed to love and accept their children? That’s the first and foremost part of parenting, if you can’t provide that just don’t parent.

When I was four Toys ‘R Us had a sale in the girl’s dress up section and the “Ruby Slippers” caught that twinkle in my eye. Without questioning anything, my mother instinctively made the purchase. One problem: I was only allowed to dress up in the house. A natural born trouble-maker to the core, I skipped my way out of the backyard and onto the sidewalks, completely ignorant of how middle-class white suburbia would take it. Later, in the fifth grade, I was taunted and teased after telling a boy I thought he was “cute” on the hand-ball court. Getting called “Big Gay Al” (South Park, yes) and hiding my strong gravitational pull towards Britney Spears and her bedazzled headsets and pop-pomed ponytails.

Noticing a major change in my demeanor (and eating habits), my mother enrolled me into theater classes to work through it and, to ultimately, make friends outside of school. Sure, I was stuck in a predominantly Jewish community, but socially savvy little me lied through his teeth and gabbed about what he expected for Channakuh. Middle school was more challenging, but after dodging the locker-room, enrolling in a co-ed gym class and taking up two sports, I was losing weight and growing a thicker skin.

High school was where I first met an out and comfortable gay man who paved the way for my coming out process. A friend of a friend, Paul, graduated from my high school a year prior and was incredibly handsome, I knew this would be a problem. Unsure of how I felt, I became closer with his ex-girlfriend, Laurie, who always assumed I was a bit “light in my loafers.” But then again who didn’t already assume that?

Racing back to my desktop, I’d dive onto AOL hoping to find him pop up on my computer screen. Paul and I would talk online whenever we’d catch the other, where I’d talk about pretty much anything. He had a break from college and would email me back and forth, him filling me in his long-distance relationship and me about future plans. What I had with Paul was special to me, which I’m not sure he even realizes to this day considering I never really thanked him for the mentorship and support along the way. I’m guessing this is my more formalized “thank you.”

Through him, I decided enough was enough with my internal struggle. I had to face the facts, parading down the hall with sweaty palms and nerves that were boiling through my skin, I went to my choir director. Skipping class was a bit of routine now, I’d either head to a local Starbucks or gossip with teachers about the administration, what I was reading or classmates we loathed equally. I entered through the “Safe Space” stickered choir doors and sat her down. She knew.

I told her how I felt that it was the only secret I had to myself, it felt like I’d be betraying myself if I didn’t just live an open life; deep for a teenager, but that freedom is something we long for when confined to rules. Providing the right amount of advice, she asked about friends, my parents and if I had a supportive group that would make the process easier for me; she felt I did, I knew I did. Nothing to lose, I knew it was time to fire away my preconceived notions and dive into the deep end.

One night, after I was out with my friends seeing One Hour Photo (good taste for a teenager, no?), I arrived home to a note on the oven: “We need to talk. Love, Mom.” Cautiously, I tip-toed into the den, my mother was in her usual position on the couch, curled up with Lifetime and her glass of Chardonnay. I sat and stared blankly at her.

“So, this note…”

“I know your secret.”

“MOM, I’m BI!”
My eyes were welling up with unmerited tears. Like, come on, who am I fooling here? “I’ve pretty much known since you popped out of me.” Naturally, I thought of the legs under Dorothy’s house curling back up and hiding, but I knew home was a danger-free zone.

The next morning I wake up to my dad on my bed-side. “I just wanted to say this to you face to face,” he began, “I want you to know that no matter who you are, what you are, who you love, I will always love you. Do me a favor and remember that this is only a part of you, it’s not all of you.”

The hardest part of the experience was the easiest part, because I didn’t even have to do the talking.
It only got better.
TJ:So my coming out story isn’t that interesting cause everyone already knew. Hahahhaa. I always joke and say I never “came out,” I just confirmed. Now I don’t want any one to get me wrong, being a young effimine man was not easy. I was teased and bullied a lot in middle school and it was horrid. Lucky for me I had a family that loved and stood behind me thru everything. I am well aware this is not the case for a lot of young gay men and my heart bleeds for them. Three things I have always believed on are:
1. Always be YOU
2. For everyone person against you there are 10 routing for you
3. God doesn’t make mistakesI hate bringing up religion but it seems to be  a constant factor in the hatred toward homosexuality. I was raised catholic and in the bible I read that he is the only one allowed to judge me and is all forgiving. The same bible these people condemn us by is the same bible that talks about and all loving and forgiving god. I thank him every day for the blessings he has given me.
I make light and joke about a lot of issues but I know coming out is not easy nor a joking matter. Even when I came out I was scared that my mom was going to be mad, and she was mad…. Mad that I told my sister before her. Haha. After I did come out though it was like a weight off my shoulders and I felt I could breathe easier. Coming out was the best decision I ever made. Also check out this video of one of my coming out stories I did last year for National Coming Out Day.

 

 

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9 Responses to Thought OUT: Describe Your Coming Out Story

  1. Justin says:

    My coming out was much-delayed and I have to say that I thankfully felt able to do it on my own terms in my own time.

    As I wrote on my blog, which was my official and only ‘coming out’ moment (http://www.justinyourmind.com/health/yep-im-gay/), I lived my life accordingly but felt this deep need to hold back a certain part of my life for the sake of not having to really discuss it or make it this thing that would actually supersede my identity as a whole or overshadow it.

    Coming out actually showed me less about who I was and more about who we are as a global community.

  2. Richard JMV says:

    Family was the easy part… I came out when I was 11, the same year I started dance classes. Everyone in my family could tell and no one cared.
    As I gradually came out throughout junior high, I made some of my best friends in the world, lost friends, made enemies. I had people making lists of guys I wanted to sleep with, I hated it. I never made a list, yet I was threatened to be dismembered and thrown in a dumpster.
    I’ll admit that I also lost my virginity at a young age, so my freshmen year of high school these football juniors and seniors were talking to the popular girls that were all my friends and upper classmen. The topic was on a male orgasms and what they feel like. I made these guys look like idiots to my friends.
    There were some issues with people harassing me and such, until I finally stood up for myself and threw the banter back and made them speechless. Finally, I made it known that I’m no push-over!!
    There’s a longer version, but that’s the quick summary.

  3. Connie says:

    Stay strong, be brave, yes we are gay I am 48 came out to my kids my favorite sister and close friends about 6 years ago and it was a wonderful experience it’s different for each one of us but go for it. I am a black lesbian in an interracial relationship with a 16 year age difference and loving it every day………..

  4. I believe that I have always been gay, and it is everyone else who had to find out. I knew that I was “different” from the other boys in my grade even before I was eight, and I first called myself “gay” in middle school. Of course it was a word that only I said to myself – a word that only I knew applied to me. It was a word that I would write in the margins notebooks only to scribble them out later. To everyone else I was just the shy, awkward kid who talked about Pokémon in homeroom. I was fine with that in middle school and in high school, where the subject of my interest changed slightly. No one ever questioned my sexuality or asked why I had never even so much as gone on a date with another human being.

    I was fine with it up until I went to college. Well, it wasn’t so much that I was fine with it – I more or less decided that was just how it had to be for the time. I had to maintain the status quo. But college was different; it was the predestined time in life that was supposed to be fertile ground for change. It was a fresh start for me; I was no longer limited by who I had always been or the perception of who I was supposed to be. It was time to be the person I had waited all my life to be.

    So I picked an random and very arbitrary date. July 23rd. That was the day I was going to come out, and heaven, hell, nor high water were going to stop me. It was not just me coming out just to anyone, it was me coming out to my parents – the people who had cared for me and loved me my entire life. And yet I had no idea how it was going to go. My family never talked about that kind of thing. About being gay or anything remotely controversial. My extended family would ask me every holiday if I had a girlfriend, and I would say no – but I would say that I was trying (which I had absolutely no intention of doing). Then they would respond with some kind of quip and that would be that for an entire year. And to my knowledge, both then and now, there has never been another member of my family, alive or dead in any direction, who is or was ever gay. I am alone in this regard, but that is nothing terribly new to me. I have always been different. I’m the rainbow sheep of my family, so to speak.

    The day arrived sooner that it seemed possible; over a year had past since I set the date. I had already come out to other people, but none like my parents. All of them were my friends and peers in college; they were people I had come to trust implicitly. They had all quickly accepted me, even though I surprised more than a few of them.

    July the twenty-third was a very hot day, bright and clear without a cloud in the sky. The sun was just making its way past the tree line on the west side of the house, casting long shadows across the yard outside. Inside, I stood in the kitchen washing the dishes in the sink after dinner. Mom was sitting in a chair by the family dining table on the other side of the stove from me watching the hummingbirds zip down and around a feeder full of sugar water that hung above the deck.

    When I had finished with the dishes, I walked over and stood by my mom in front of the glass door. It was very quiet in the room – it had been quiet in the entire house all day. It was as if there was a great silence that was just waiting to be breached. It was the disturbing noiselessness that fills a room just before a plate shifts out of place and falls, shattering on the floor. My mom turned and looked at me with her hands clasped in her lap.

    “Is there something on your mind?” she asked.

    I looked at her, and for a second I considered saying nothing at all, but I knew that I couldn’t. My mind was set and there would be no turning back.

    “Mom, I’m gay.”

    I had said the three words that I had been waiting my entire life to say. I had released my greatest secret into the world. I had no idea how my family would react or what would happen, but I could not take the burden of lying to myself and to the people around me anymore. I knew that in all likelihood there wasn’t going to be a fairy tale ending to my story, and I had at least tried to prepare for that – the possibility of being put out on my own. But there are things that no one can prepare for.

    “What? Are you sure?” she said.

    “Yeah, pretty much.”

    There was a long pause between us as we looked at each other – all the color and emotion had drained from her face. She looked away first, taking in one shaking breath and letting it out. She shifted in her seat, turning towards the table a little more, and laid her arms across the surface holding her elbows. My mom slowly lowered her head into the crook of her arm. I could not see her face; I could only hear her hard, shallow breathing. I didn’t know what to do or say, so I just put one hand on her shoulder in an attempt to comfort her. I don’t know how long we stood there like that, but eventually she lifted her head and looked at me.

    “This is like someone calling me and telling me that my son is dead.”

    There are a lot of things that I had prepared for, but that struck me like a stone. It cut through everything and smashed into my gut. Those words took the air right out of my lungs. If there was anything I could have responded to that with, there would have been no way for me to even verbalize it. But I didn’t even have time to recover.

    “This – this, is like you decided to wake up and become a serial killer,” and after that she just cradled her head in her arms again and shook.

    I fell into the seat next to her. I felt like everything had just been wiped out of me. Two short sentences. That was all she had to say to reduce me to a borderline catatonic state. I managed to recover, and I tried to talk to her. I told her that I loved her, and I tried to comfort her. She told me I should become a monk and be celibate for the rest of my life. I told her that I loved her. She said I was better off loving no one than falling in love with a man. I told her that it was not her fault. She said that college had done this to me, and I should quit and come home. I told her to stop crying. She said she was not crying for me, but the grandchildren she would never have.

    I just told her that I loved her, that I always would, but I couldn’t change who I am.

    • Jacob says:

      So this one struck me like a big rainbow brick.

      It’s been ten days since I finally decided to mutter the words, “I’m Gay” to anybody other than myself. I’m 21 and was born and raised in a conservative, Church of Christ, anti-gay household and school. I went to a private Christian school my whole life and always thought who I was was wrong and never thought it was going to stay with me.
      I graduated from high school and decided against moving away for college and stayed home and went a college here. (Biggest regret of my life) Anyways, I found that these feeling, no matter how much I prayed and asked for them to go away, never did. I’ve lived in fear my whole life I knew that someday I was going to have to finally come out and deal with my family and friends reactions.

      The past six months of my life have basically been me trying to decide when. I never set a date like you did, but I knew that it was going to happen. Two weeks ago, while laying in bed, thinking about this, my heart started pounding and I got a sense of action like never before. I knew it was time.

      It was Saturday, 9-17. I ended up telling three of my coworkers first and it went extremely amazing with them telling me they all basically knew. Later that night I told three of my best guy friends and it also went extremely well, with some very funny questions following. I told my best friend that I wanted to take her out the following Monday. She got there and we went through the whole, “How was your day” ordeal and then I said, “I need to tell you something.” She got really big-eyed and said, “Ok.” I told her. She immediately grabbed my hands and told me she loved me no matter what and was really proud of me for telling her. We ended it having a long discussion and it went extremely well. Bear in mind, this girl went to the same Christian school and grew up in church her whole life, like me. I couldn’t have been more excited.

      I then decided to tell my mother and brother on the same day. I knew this was going to be hard, but my hopes and spirit was riding high from the awesome reactions from my friends. I ended up telling my mom while at work (Biggest regret of my life #2) since I don’t live with her and it’s the only place I see her since we work at the same place. She immediately teared up and the first word that came out of her mouth was, “No.” I quivered, but reassured her that this was not her fault and that this was not a decision. She then told me that I will be going to hell and that I was sick.

      I could go on and on with way more detail, but I honestly don’t want to. My spirit was crushed and I had never heard worse statements in my life. Since it’s only been a week since this occurred, we still aren’t on face-to-face speaking terms. She has emailed me saying that she can’t accept it and probably never will, but she still loves me.

      My brother and sister-in-law didn’t go well either at all, but my brother is trying to understand and told me he is open to debate and discussion on how I could think this is ok. He basically wants me to be a celibate, gay person, who never acts on his feelings, in order to be a part of my nephew’s life.

      That also hurt.

      I don’t know how this is all going to end up and I know time is my biggest factor here, but I know that no one should ever have to hear and read the things, I have in the past ten days from their own family.

      I’ve never been more happy in my own self mind than the past ten days though, and could not be more thankful for my friends. I’m finally done living in fear and it feels amazing.

  5. Abe says:

    I’ve always really known. As I reflect back on the times I’ve spent in the classroom and on the playground, I can safely say that I tended to have crushes on the other boys. As I got older I explored my sexuality and did a lot of gay uh.. video browsing. I had a girlfriend at the age of 13 (7th grade) to prove to myself that I wasn’t into men, but at that age, the soldier salutes anything that brushes him softly! I had sex with my girlfriend a total of 4 times, all of which I wasn’t really fond of. Don’t even get me started on the heinous acts I had to do for her.. In the end, we lasted a year and it all ended because she decided to go on my computer and found my stash of videos and I was just so embarrassed and didn’t know what else do to. Luckily, that all ended at the end of 8th grade and we ended up going to different high schools.
    Fast forward about 3 and a half years, and I’m dragged out of the closet by my bookbag. Apparently I wasn’t good enough to hide the fact that I’m gay and another gay student felt the need to tease me about it. “Are you gay?”, “Do you think I’m cute?”, “Would you date me?”, “What if I kissed you right here, right now?”. It was a daily thing that went on during my 6th period English class. Eventually he decided to nab my bookbag and run across the school to the Chorus room (his usual hang out spot) where he said that he’d only give me my bookbag back if I came out to him, so I did.. At that point, I felt like I had to come out before he decided to tell the whole world, so my immediate friends at the time were informed. All of which were okay with the idea.
    Around the same time I started to secretly date someone I met on MySpace. We would always spend time together and my mom never knew what I was actually doing. One morning I made up the excuse that I had to be at work earlier so I had to get up and leave to catch the train when in reality, I just wanted to ride the train with him a bit longer. I remember that dark morning very well, I told him to wait for me a block up from my house so that no one would see us, but instead he waited for me on the corner adjacent to my house and it so happens that my mother decided to say good-bye at the door. As I crossed the street I felt this wave of emotions flood me, like I knew that the cover was blown. Later that day when I got home, I found my mother worried. She had fabricated an elaborate story where she thought that kid from across the street was waiting for me to shank me or to sell me drugs or to kidnap me… the list went on. As I sat next to her on the living room sofa, reading the worry on her face, I knew what I had to do and it was the worst feeling in my stomach EVER. I had never been that nervous in my life. I felt like crying, like vanishing, like running away, like dying, but most importantly like a failure to my mom because I knew of all the expectations she had of me. I couldn’t outwardly say the words “I’m gay”, I wept as I sat next to her while she repeatedly asked me what was wrong. She finally got to the right question, “Do you not like girls?” followed by a “Was he actually just waiting for you because you’re dating?”. All I could do was nod as I cried and then she began to cry. After that night, I felt alone. There was a 3 month period where she wouldn’t talk to me or even look at me. Mind you, this was the woman that would wake up before me to make me lunch to go to work and all of that stopped for that time. That time was when I felt the most alone in the world. Eventually I just broke down and asked why she didn’t even acknowledge my existence and according to her it was because I acted up (prior to me coming out to her) and she felt that the cold shoulder would teach me a lesson. Regardless of her reasoning, I’ve always felt that some remarks she has made were intended for me and I’m still uneasy about the whole thing. She ended up telling my dad and he just said “It’s just a phase, he’ll get over it eventually.” Guess I’m still not over it…

    I came cross the movie Prayers for Bobby while it played on either Lifetime or Logo and it felt like that was my story. Though I am here today to retell my story, I know that’s what I felt like and what I would have done if I weren’t stronger than that.

  6. Gerald says:

    I came out when my mother & my sister both when to see two different psychics in the same week and both psychics decided to tell my family members that “Gerald is gay.” After I was confronted by mom later that week as I was on my way to karaoke (hello dead giveaway,) I decided to just confirm the psychic readings were true! I guess the psychics did me a favor by not forcing me to actually announce “I am gay.” After a 30 minute talk with the ‘rents, all was good and then my mother gave me a gift- two pens with a solar system design on them (I had an astronomy phase going on back then.) I then after referred to them as my “gay pens.”

  7. Armando says:

    I’ll mainly borrow from my Facebook status i did a few hours ago and add a few more details: I came out to my parents 10 years ago this December: to my dad in his red truck as we were driving home and to my mother in the underwear section of work 1 hour before I left for California. Considering I had only been in the Navy for 6 months at the time: The battle to tell them about the “True Me” was met with the OPPOSITE reaction from each of them (my dad, a jehovah witness being more accepting while mom, a catholic/christin kind of taking it as a joke). They never gave me a speech of “you’re a sinner” or anything like that. It did take about a year or so for my mom to fully accept it. She defended me when one time she was introduced as “the one with the gay son.” (i wish i was there when it happened, but Navy calls). In 2009, i decided to tell my younger sister the weekend of her high school graduation since she was going to be moving away from home and starting her college life. She was FULLY accepting of it and she actually made me tear up of happiness. I juts love her so much! Fast Forward to today: I am VERY fortunate to have both of them loving me to this day despite their upbringings and (from what i am assuming) the disapproval of SOME family members being thrown to them (which i have heard they have had to deal with years ago, but not much if any to this day).

    Also, to people that have friends/family coming out to them: Coming Out is a very precious moment for those that decide to do it. Whether you know it or not: they (people telling you that they are gay, lesbian, etc) are giving you the ULTIMATE trust with you, so please do not take it lightly or just brush it off as “I already knew.” The world has come so far in so many years, but it is still a progress in motion (If that makes sense). Happy National Coming Out Day! ♥

    (I apologize for any spelling or grammatical errors)
    @ArmandoGJR on Twitter

  8. Michelle says:

    i’ve read each of your stories, and think you are all quite strong and brave. Hugs and kisses to each of you, and may you have incredibly sweet lives.

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